Workshop Etiquette
1. Please treat the topic of mental health and suicide with respect. Thrill-seeking individuals should avoid attending just because it sounds ‘fun’ or ‘interesting'. This is disrespectful to your fellow participants.
2. Similarly, we DO NOT accept sign ups from trainers and individuals working for other mental health entities. We have very limited slots. You are taking a slot away from someone who really needs help. If you want to find out more or attend, just contact us directly or else this is considered questionable behaviour.
3. Please be respectful to the facilitators as they are all volunteers who are not renumerated for their time. We will not tolerate any abuse, unpleasant or rude behaviour as it is against our values.
4. Please come to the workshops with an open mind and willingness to listen. In some cases, participants do sign up without any understanding of the topic or have preconceived notions of what should be taught. If you have attended mental health workshops from other organisations, that is totally fine.
However, please keep in mind that you are here to learn new things.
You are not here to learn the same things that you have learnt elsewhere. Even if the topic appears familiar to you, the content will be different because we create our own workshops to meet specific community needs.
It is not the right place or right time to critique or be skeptical as it affects the progress of the workshop. Your skepticism might simply come from ignorance of the subject matter, over-confidence arising from a superiority complex or even your own resistance to change, so please kindly reflect on this statement for a moment.
These behaviours can be disruptive to the teaching. Please try to experience the whole workshop without any biased thoughts and feelings. You may find that you will learn something worthwhile. At the very least, please give other participants the chance to learn.
This is the level of basic courtesy we expect of you.
Thank you for your kindness and understanding. We look forward to meeting you at our workshops!
Did you know?
We are home to Singapore's first & only Death Experience Workshop!
The objective of the workshop is to teach you to appreciate life through a better understanding of death. Such an objective means that mental wellbeing and suicide prevention are some of the areas addressed through this workshop. Death is one of most personal and emotional experiences you will encounter and many of our participants actually come out with a very positive experience because of the clarity and emotional relief they received.
It is our signature workshop and we encourage you to try at least once if you haven't done so. If you are a corporate or voluntary welfare organisation looking to run our workshop, simply contact us through the webform and we'll get back to you soon.
What we give you is the promise that you will emerge with a renewed perspective on life. If you don't believe, hear from our own participant.
Personal Testimonial from Jeannette Qhek, Founder of Chill By Nette:
“I found the Death Experience workshop conducted by The Safe U Initiative to be a meaningful one for myself. The facilitator skillfully guided us through the process in a safe and supportive manner, which allowed for deep exploration without fear.
During the (process), I felt a release of powerful emotions that brought insights into my own life. Sharing our experiences with each other was also healing. I enjoyed the session, and would recommend it to anyone seeking greater purpose, deeper connections, or simply a fresh perspective on life!”
Safe U Advanced Suicide & Mental Distress Gatekeeper (A-SMDG) Workshop ©
Following the popularity of our SMDG workshop, we are pleased to announce our sequel: Safe U's Advanced Suicide & Mental Distress Gatekeeper (A-SMDG) Workshop. This workshop will provide you with all the skills you need to handle any mental health crisis situations independently and proficiently.
If you have attended our original SMDG workshop or have experience in gatekeeping and psychological first aid (PFA), this workshop will substantially elevate your skillset so that you can be confident to intervene if the situation arises.
For friends and family members of suicidal individuals, this workshop will be helpful if you wish to help them on a daily basis. We build up your confidence by focusing mainly on practical skills rather than theory alone. It can difficult for a person to know how and when to intervene but you will gain a high level of understanding when you complete this advanced workshop.
As part of promoting kindness in the community, you will get a subidised fee for future workshops if you have attended any of our workshops. You can also be assured that each and every Safe U workshop is heavily subsidised to make mental health literacy accessible. We are all volunteers and non-profit.
We just ask you to pay it forward by putting your skills to good use.
Details are as follows:
Safe U A-SMDG Workshop
13 October 3pm to 5pm
Venue: City area (TBA)
Course fee:
1. $35 (fee for attendees of previous SMDG and other Safe U workshops)
OR
2. $40 (new registration)
To register, please contact us by Instagram DM or through the webform on the 'Contact Us' page to check for availability of slots.
Safe U Depression First Aider (DFA) Workshop ©
We are pleased to announce the Safe U Depression First Aider (DFA) workshop as part of our Suicide Resilience Experiential Project. Depression is one of the most common mental health conditions and constitutes a risk factor for suicide.
If you are unsure if someone is just feeling sad or experiencing symptoms of depression, this workshop will help you identify signs to look out for.
If you want to help someone with suspected or diagnosed depression, we will also equip you with mental health first aid skills to prevent a crisis situation from escalating.
The DFA workshop is unique in that there is less emphasis on theory but more on practical skills which you can use on an everyday basis. You develop confidence to deal with different situations that you may encounter by working through case studies and practising skills on the spot. Worried that you might need further help? We at Safe U are happy to provide advice and support if you are willing to ask. Take the first step towards helping a person with depression and be the light that guides them at the end of the tunnel.
Details:
Safe U Depression First Aider (DFA) Workshop
12 Oct 3pm to 5pm
Course fees: $40
Limited slots (small group setting)
To sign up, please contact us through Instagram DM or our webform on the 'Contact Us' page to check availability of slots.
Safe U Self-Harm Prevention & Risk Minimisation (SPRM) Workshop ©
As part of the third phase of our Suicide Resilience Experiential Project (SREP), we will be focusing on self-harm prevention and harm minimisation. This is also the first workshop of its kind focusing mainly on self-harm. Self-harm is not only a risk factor for suicide but it is also very much a unique phenomenon of its own.
If you are self-harming or know someone who is at risk of self-harm, it is possible to prevent the behaviour from escalating and causing further physical and emotional damage. Join us on 13 Oct from 10am to 12pm if you would like to know more and help those around you who may be struggling to cope with emotional pain.
Details:
13 October 10 am to 12 pm
Course fee: $50 ($45 for previous attendees of our workshops)
Limited slots due to small group setting
To sign up, please send us a DM on Instagram or contact us through our webform.
Safe U Death Experience Workshop © (Beginner)
Due to popular demand, we will be conducting a second session for our death experience workshop. This is the final session of the year and will be held on 28 September 10 am to 1pm. Please note that to discourage thrill seekers, we will only be accepting attendees of this beginner workshop for subsequent advanced death experience workshops. This is to screen participants and ensure that you will not be overwhelmed by the experiential activities which will increase in intensity with each subsequent workshop.
Details as follows:
28 Sept 10 am to 1pm
Course fee: $60
Limited slots available due to small group setting
This workshop is considered beginner level and there will not be any morbid or discomforting activities involved.
How to sign up?
1. Instagram DM and we will attend to you asap
2. Contact us through our webform
There is meaning in everything between life and death.
As part of the second phase of our Suicide Resilience Experiential Project (SREP), Safe U will be conducting Singapore's first ever death experience workshop in conjunction with the upcoming World Mental Health Month in October. The aim of this workshop is for individuals to experience death as a journey to your inner self. This is often described as an enlightening experience which helps to put many of life's trials and tribulations into perspective. Many people see death and anything to do with it as taboo. However, it is part and parcel of life and understanding death helps you appreciate life on a deeper level.
This is NOT a workshop teaching people to die. We strictly discourage death or suicide as a solution to life's problems because quite simply, death is a one way ticket. Our purpose lies with educating participants about death and the meaning of death to oneself and the people around you.
This is considered a beginner workshop and there will not be any experience that will cause discomfort. It is the first part of a series of workshops on death experience with each workshop having different activities and themes of various intensities. Thus, participants choose what they wish to experience. At the same time, participants will be screened for suitability prior to being registered for subsequent more advanced workshops. The screening includes whether you have attended the beginner workshop and if you have any existing mental health conditions. They are for your wellbeing.
We discourage people from registering or attending the workshops with a fun-seeking attitude as death is a serious matter.
Details as follows:
Session 1: 15 September 2024 (Fully booked)
10 am to 1pm (half day workshop)
Course fee: $60 (Subsidised to $55 if you have attended our previous workshops)
Slots: Limited to small group setting. First come first served
Contact us by email, webform or Instagram to enquire about booking. We look forward to seeing you!
Safe U Suicide Resilience Experiential Project (SREP) ©
The SAFE U Initiaitive is pleased to announce our major project of 2024. The Suicide Resilience Experiential Project (SREP) is a culmination of our efforts to tackle suicide and encompasses multiple experiential activities focused on promoting awareness and building of suicide resilience.
The first part of the project is a vlog series consisting of interviews with individuals who intersect with death and suicide. We are currently looking for volunteers who wish to use their experience to guide those who are struggling between life and death:
Specifically, volunteers with
1) Lived experience of suicide
2) Near death experience
3) Grief
4) Experience in suicide intervention work
星洲守护心灵企划很高兴宣布我们2024年的重大项目。自杀韧性体验项目（SREP）是我们应对自杀问题努力奋斗的结晶，包含了多个旨在促进意识和建立自杀韧性的体验活动。
该项目的第一部分是一个影视系列（Vlog Series)，采访曾经和死亡和自杀有接触的人士。我们正在寻找志愿者愿意分享自己的经验并劝导徘徊在生死边缘的人：
具体而言，我们正在寻找具有以下经验的志愿者：
1）自杀经历 （lived experience of suicide)
2）濒死体验 (near death experience)
3）丧恸 (grief)
4）自杀干预工作经验 (suicide intervention volunteers)
If you would like to be involved in this meaningful project, please email us or complete our webform.
如果您想参与这个有意义的项目，请通过电子邮件或者我们网站的表格联络我们。
You can be the light in someone's darkness
你可以成为别人黑暗中的一束光
The Safe U Grant-a-Workshop (Mental Health Literacy) Project ©
Are you looking to improve your mental health literacy but don't know where to start? The SAFE U Initiative is pleased to announce our Safe U Grant-a-Workshop (Mental Health Literacy) Project ©. As the name suggests, we are promoting mental health literacy by taking requests from members of the general public and developing a mental health and/or suicidal support talk or workshop just for YOU. We are able to do so because we have expertise across multiple mental health domains. When we receive your request, we do our best to fulfil it. You can be sure that these workshops are created specifically to suit your needs so that you no longer have to settle for a generic and often expensive mental health workshop You will definitely feel our kindest intentions to help you and your loved ones live a fulfiling and meaningful life.
These customised workshops will run alongside our regular workshops. You will be pleased to know that the talks and workshops will always be made available in English and Chinese so that you can learn in a language which is most comfortable to you.
The service is totally free. We adhere strictly to our working principles of only charging for external costs and using the fees to fund and subsidise further events. Additionally, we will be trialling a sliding scale such that payment is flexible according to needs and ability to pay.
If you have the heart to learn, we have the passion to teach!
How to request a workshop
1. Contact us through webform, email or Instagram DM. Alternatively fill out our Google form in the link below
2. Tell us what you are interested to learn (or we can suggest based on your situation), requirements and the number of people who are attending
3. We will discuss within our team and get back to you within 3 working days. Usually it will be less than that.
4. We will provide an outline of the talk or workshop and arrange a suitable venue depending on number of people.
5. If you are the only person, don't worry about that. We will help you find like-minded people who may also be interested in the same topic. This will take some time but we will do our best to make it happen.
6. Payment according to sliding scale. We are reasonable people and because we are just volunteers, we don't give a heck about profits. We try to make it fair such that everyone has the opportunity to learn. You won't be disadvantaged. If you are an organisation, we hope you treat us respectfully and refrain from asking for free workshops since you are already funded.
The Safe U Coping with Transitions (CWT) Workshop ©
1 September 12 noon to 2pm
Open for Booking!
Course fee: $30 nett
What is this workshop suitable for:
1. Grief
2. Divorce
3. Career changes
4. Health changes
5. Existential Crisis
What will you learn:
1. Types of transitions
2.What is and how to utilise transitional phenomena
3. Effective coping strategies
4. Q&A and form your own support group!
Due to request from a member of the public, we will be conducting a workshop on 'Coping with Transitions'. This is an extended version of our TOES worskhop and specifically covers content on how to cope with life transitions effectively. These could include grief, divorce, career & health changes and existential crisis. This workshop is also a good opportunity for you to meet like-minded individuals to form your very own support group.
As per our previous workshops, we are conducting it in a small group format to ensure better facilitation. Course fee remains unchanged at $30 and you are welcome to sponsor/subsidise slot(s) for your loved ones or someone in need.
We are also happy to provide financial support for any students and young adults who wish to attend. Please note that this is only for those who are really in need. Simply DM us and we'll try to help the best we can.
Thank you :)
Registration steps: Enquire with us if there are available slots. Make payment by PayNow and send us a message with your name, contact no. and no. of pax. Screenshot a copy of the payment for your reference and send us one copy too.
The Safe U Suicide & Mental Distress Gatekeeper (SMDG) Workshop ©
1 September 2024 10am to 12 noon
Fully booked. Special thanks to Soul Reconnection for sponsoring two slots :)
- Book by scanning QR Code below to make payment through PayNow. Send your name, contact number and no. of pax to us by email after making payment.
18 August 2024 10am to 12 noon
Fully booked !
Course fee: $30 or $25 if you attended our emotional regulation workshop and/or purchased Panda Teddy
We are pleased to announce our 2nd workshop focusing on suicide and mental distress gatekeeping. If you know a friend or family member who is going through a difficult time, this is the course for you to keep them safe. Best of all, anyone can be a gatekeeper. You do not need to be a mental health professional to avert a potential suicide or mental breakdown.
We are fully committed to subsidising our workshops with the donations and course fees we have received. If you have attended our emotional regulation workshop and/or panda teddy, you will automatically be eligible for a discounted course fee. We will continue to do so for future workshops so that you will benefit the most.
This will be a small group session so slots will be on a first come first served basis. Book now before the slots are full :)
The Safe U Transitional Objects & Emotional Security (TOES) Workshop ©
18th August 3pm to 5pm
Fully booked !
Course fee: $30
Subsidised to $25 if you attended our previous workshops and/or purchassd a panda teddy
We are pleased to introduce our third workshop on Transitional Objects and Emotional Security. This is a special workshop released in conjunction with our Panda Teddy collaboration with @plushplush.sg. If you currently do not have an emotional support aid, we highly recommend you to consider the Panda Teddy as @plushplush.sg has put in alot of effort in its creation. We are supporting them by subsidising the workshop for anyone who purchased the panda teddy.
Nonetheless, transitional objects can transcend beyond concrete objects to more abstract experiences. Learn about how these transitional objects play a role in our childhood and continue to influence our lives in adulthood. Harness the power within these objects to improve your emotional wellbeing amidst difficult times. Why is this important? Modern societies are perpetuating feelings of loneliness and helplessness even as social media continues to connect more and more people. This is evident in many unhealthy habits such as drug addictions, game addictions and even hoarding. In extreme cases such as hikikomori, we simply isolate ourselves from society when we are unable to cope with changes or deal with past events in our lifes. Sometimes, all need is some help in terms of tactics and strategies to manage uncertainty, anxiety and accepting change. This is where transitional objects come in and we know they are useful, because you still cling onto your first chou chou or even a photo of someone important to you.
So join us and learn how to help yourself even when you seem alone and no one can help you. You know yourself the best and that is why this workshop focuses on what is meaningful and emotionally supportive to you.
The SAFE U Initiative is pleased to announce our collaboration with @plushplush.sg to bring you the Panda Teddy Emotional Support Plushie. This is a customised plushie which is probably the first in Singapore to be used as a dedicated emotional support aid. If you had a chou chou, you would have memories of the comfort it gave you through your childhood years. The Panda Teddy is not meant only for children but for adults as well.
As a transitional object, it provides emotional support within your control, psychological strength through the representation of emotional attachment and also reduces the need for maladaptive behaviours such as hoarding and addictions. Gifting a transitional object to a loved one can help him/her better navigate difficult times even if you are not always physically available.
Plush Plush SG has spent months creating this plushie and the design was specially curated to contain different meanings. We are extremely grateful that Plush Plush SG has kindly agreed to donate part of the sales proceeds to our crowdfunding page on GoGetFunding. The donations will go directly towards funding our project and subsidising future workshops.
In conjunction with this collaboration, we will also be announcing our Transitional Objects & Emotional Security Workshop soon. You will automatically get a discounted course fee with the purchase of a Panda Teddy, so the donations go back to benefiting you directly.
These collectibles are currently available at a discounted price for a limited time only. So get yours before they are sold out :)
To purchase, click the button below:
The SAFE U Initiative X Soul Reconnection Collaboration
The SAFE U Initiative is pleased to announce our collaboration with Soul Reconnection (再生缘). This collaboration involves our newly created single-session transdiagnostic workshop for emotional regulation as well as Soul Reconnection's low bono support group for people experiencing loneliness and emptiness in life. Soul Reconnection is also offering a time-limited highly discounted counseling service if you start your first session with them by 31st July. These services will be available as two packages. Initial slots will be 20 max on a first come first served basis, due to the popularity and high demand.
How do you benefit from this collaboration?
1. There is often a long waiting time before you can access mental health services and providing earlier intervention can promote better psychological outcomes. The single session workshop is transdiagnostic, meaning it doesn't target a specific diagnosis but works as a preventive and/or mitgative intervention across emotional disorders such as depression, anxiety and most subclinical mental health symptoms. Data suggests that there are sustained mental health benefits from just a single-session transdiagnostic workshop for emotional dysfunction, depression, and general distress. One session is often enough to feel a positive change which can be consolidated by either a support group or professional counseling.
2. Professional counseling and facilitated support groups can be very expensive so you benefit from the low bono services and subsidised prices here
3. Our collaboration is born solely out of the desire to help those in need and encourage help-seeking behaviour. We hope you will cherish this opportunity to take the first step towards a better life.
Total slots available: Max 20 pax only.
Fees :
1. Workshop + Support Group
- $25 + $40/session
2. Workshop + Professional Counseling
- $25 + 20% off first 5 counseling sessions
Contact details:
For Workshop enquiries, contact us through instagram, website, facebook, [email protected].
For Support Group/Counseling, contact Soul Reconnection through the details in the posters.
The Philosophy Of Our Services
The graceful and resilient butterfly is our totem and forms an integral part of our logo. It symbolises the arduous metamorphosis from a common catepillar to an exquisite and beautiful winged creature. Through our programmes, we facilitate a similar transformation where individuals in suicidal or mental distress are able to overcome adversity and fulfil their potential.
We hope our acts of kindness will be a light in the darkness and instill in them the courage and optimism to give life a second chance.
进退有度， 取舍有度，张驰有度
Zero Tolerance Policy on Trolling and Online Abusive Behaviour
To maintain a safe and respectful community for all, trolling and online abusive behaviour will not be tolerated. We will not hesitate to block you or report your actions to the relevant platforms and authorities. We also reserve the right to take legal action to protect our reputation.
These are some examples of behaviours and actions which we have a zero tolerance policy:
1. One's behaviour is considered malicious, including leaving hateful comments intentionally with or without using fake accounts.
2. One has lied about identity or mental health status with the possible consequence of harming others who are providing support. We will not accept any abuse when there is a lack of honesty and endangers the safety of everyone involved.
3. The person was not accepted as a volunteer or expelled as a volunteer and wanted to take revenge or vent his/her anger wilfully on us. The reaction of lashing out to defend the person's ego has already betrayed one's guilty conscience. Harassment, repeated annoyance, arrogance and unwillingness to follow instructions may give some clues as to why we blocked someone instead of others.
4. One has made a booking and failed to pay on time or did not have the intention of paying. This is considered reservation abuse. We are low/pro-bono and any fees are used to offset external costs. As long someone reneges on payment, a workshop might end up cancelled.
We are not obliged to explain why someone has been blocked. We take action when we feel that a person has crossed the line. This is done with due consideration for the welfare of the initiative and the whole community. If the previous examples apply to someone you know , it is quite self-explanatory that the person's character is malevolent, spiteful or disrespectful. These negative attributes are not aligned with our values and will be condemned without exception.
Blocking a person is already considered a form of benevolence since returning kindness with ingratitude and hostilty are unacceptable by any standards. We simply keep the person out of sight and out of mind because these situations are an unnecessary distraction to our work. Please remember:
Don’t abuse a kind heart. You may never be offered one again.
The Prequel
Before we proceed to introduce our services, please take time to read through our initiative's distinctive methods to improve help-seeking behaviour, alleviate psychological pain and enhance suicide prevention. These are meant to complement our services and provide a useful personal toolkit in times of need. We can assure you that they are different from what you have experienced anywhere in Singapore. If nothing has worked for you thus far, do give these methods a try.
Disclaimer: Please note that these methods are ONLY allowed for personal use. Commercial use or plaigarism of these materials will result in legal action.
The Tomato Emoji 🍅
On 27 April 2024, The SAFE U Initiative officially adopted the tomato emoji 🍅 as our universal help-seeking communication tool for persons in need and their family/friends. This is the first in Singapore and Asia!
What is it and why is it significant?
It is often a struggle for someone with mental health and/or suicidal issues to reach out and ask for help. This is because in addition to the fear of being judged, most people are not taught what to ask and how to say. The tomato emoji was first recommended as a signaling tool for help by Janina Scarlet, P.h.D, a clinical psychologist at the Center for Stress and Anxiety Management in San Diego, California.
Initiating and Receiving Help-Seeking Behaviour
The tomato emoji 🍅 offers a simplified representation of mental health and/or suicidal problems while its red colour signifies urgency and an immediate call for help. It can not only be used by a distressed person to ask for help but it can also be helpful for family members and friends to reach out and intervene in a difficult time of one's life without being too intrusive (see below for examples). Therefore, the tomato also symbolises love for others and stepping into a new phase of life.
While the tomato emoji 🍅 is simple, it has the important function of initiating early help-seeking behaviour. This is the most difficult stage to achieve but it is also the most crucial step because initiation often results in a distressed person starting to access support networks and professional mental health care which leads to improved outcomes. Help-seeking doesn't have to be difficult if all one needs is a willingness to express oneself in a way which is comfortable and universal.
Self-Monitoring Tool & Precautionary Measure
If you still doubt whether it is useful, know that the tomato emoji 🍅 offers a way for you to develop awareness and monitor your emotional state. This allows you to take precautionary measures to regulate your emotions before things get worse and also provides a means for others to support you early before police intervention is necessary.
Everyone can play a part in preventing the loss of lives through spreading awareness of the tomato emoji 🍅 as a life saving tool. Start sharing and reposting our instagram reel and use it with any friends or family members who might need help. You might be surprised by how willing they will open up once they get the hang of it. Be a lifesaver, embrace the tomato emoji 🍅 and make help-seeking easy for all.
How do you react to someone offering help?
Simply use the tomato emoji 🍅 as a reply to indicate that you need help now. You won't need to hesitate about how to reply and what to say. That's why there is a common saying that a picture is worth a thousand words. Unlike emotion-related emojis which explicitly display a sad, crying or frustrated face, there is no need to worry about how others will judge your emotions or unknowingly intrude into your personal space since the meaning is discreet and intentionally unobstructive. You get to communicate in a comfortable manner based on gentleness and consensual understanding.
How do you reach out to someone in need?
You can use the tomato emoji 🍅 to ask if someone is feeling down, distressed or even suicidal. This removes the need to ask sensitive questions which may trigger a negative response. Similar to receiving help, it helps to mutually agree on the use of the tomato emoji 🍅 between both parties before the start of everything. Your help doesn't need to be a serious talk or a particular intervening act. It can be as simple as meeting for food and using it as an opportunity to informally offer help.
* The use of the tomato emoji 🍅 is based on mutual trust so please use it ONLY when you really need help.
Safe U Approach to Emotional Regulation & Maintenance ©
We have made it easy for you. Just follow our approach to get started on your journey on attaining self-control over your emotions. We have divided our approach into 2 sections:
1. How to handle emotional discomfort & pain with grace? Use our ABC and 123 methods. The latter includes our Safe U 3-Step Acupressure Emotional First Aid for Psychache.
2. How do you deal with ‘rebound’ effects? Use the DEF and Standardised Finger-Grip methods.
*A gentle minder that these materials are copyrighted and only available for personal use. Plaigarism results in severe consequences for violators.*
How to Handle Emotional Discomfort & Pain With Grace?
You can begin the healing process with steps as simple as ABC and 123.
A : Affirmations --> Challenging negative thoughts and beliefs and replacing them with positive ones. Our Safe U Affirmation is an example to help you get started.
B: Breathing & Beats --> Physical self-comfort by focusing on how you feel as you breathe in and out while slowing your cardiac beating rate by placing both hands on your heart (The Hands on Heart Technique)
C: Cycling back and forth & Closure at any level--> Oscillating your attention between two self-identified areas of your body. One being an area of emotional pain and the other, an area of relative calmness or relaxation. The aim is to shift your focus back and forth between these areas as if cycling in a loop or pendulating. The aim is to find a balance between emotional comfort and discomfort. (Pendulation)
To break the cycle of emotional pain, it can be important to achieve closure so that it does not become a constant point of trigger. In this context, closure doesn't mean that you get an answer that solves everything. It pertains more to making peace with yourself and the situation you are in. We advocate having some form of closure to help you cope better and using that as an impetus and starting point to heal and move forward in life. (Closure at any level)
Not ready to face your emotions yet?
Fret not, our Safe U 3-Step Acupressure for Emotional First Aid for Psychache © can help manage your pain in acute situations without requiring re-exposure to discomfort and potentially overwhelming sensations.
This can be achieved through acupressure on the following 3 body points.
1. Head: Between your eye brows (Yintang 印堂）
2. Chest: Between your nipples (Danzhong 膻中)
3. Wrist: Three fingers down from middle of wrist crease (Neiguan 内关）
It is as simple as following 1, 2 and 3 to calm your mind, heart and gut. These regions are often where physical symptoms of emotional discomfort manifest such as headaches and sensitivity to stimuli, palpitations and chest tightness, stomachache and diarrhoea.
Once you are ready, move back to ABC. You can also try both sets of exercises at the same time. The more you practise, the more you achieve self-control over your emotions.
The Safe U Affirmation
‘The More I Feel,
The More I Heal’
Step1: Try the above affirmation when you are experiencing anixety or distress. Sit or lie down in a comfortable position. Close your eyes and focus on your breathing.
Step 2: As you breathe in, say the affirmation silently in your mind and visualise it filling and healing your body.
Step 3: When you breathe out, say it aloud and visualise your negative thoughts and feelings leaving your body with each breath.
Step 4: Repeat the above steps for 5 minutes or until you feel better, whichever comes first.
Why should you try it?
An affirmation is a brief statement used to enforce positive thinking through repetition. This helps to challenge negative thoughts and beliefs and replace them with a more positive inner voice. There are some studies which suggest that affirmations can help improve mood, relieve stress and promote positive behavioural change. However, they work better with good self-esteem so it is essential to work on your confidence too.
Affirmations are usually positively framed and goal-specific. For example, our recommended affirmation 'The More I Feel, The More I Heal' focuses on the goal of healing from emotional pain and is phrased positively (e.g., instead of ‘The More I Feel, The More I Feel Less Pain'). You can start off by practising with our affirmation to familiarise with the breathing steps required. Once you are ready, feel free to personalise your affirmation according to a goal you have in mind.
In our affirmation, we relate feeling to healing because experiencing the emotion pain is necessary for us to release it. Repressing it often intensifies our fight or flight response. On the other hand, healing doesn't mean we need to confront our emotional pain full on. It can be very uncomfortable. Using methods such as affirmations help us to process the emotional pain just as it swells up and before it turns into full on distress and anxiety. Such a subtle and gentle approach can gradually reduce the pain and help us heal with regular practice. It is also a good introductory method to a more advanced techniques which we will introduce next.
The Hands on Heart Technique
After trying our affirmation of 'The More I Feel, The More I Heal', you can move on to the Hands on Heart Technique. This technique simulates holding the hand on a loved one and helps to reduce cortisol, which is our body's main stress hormone. It it thus meant to combat the sensations of stress and also help develop the habit of physically comforting oneself during times of need.
There are a few variations to the technique but the easiest to remember is to put two hands on your heart and enjoy the comforting feeling as you breathe in and out. Other variations you can try out include putting one hand on your heart and the other hand on your belly or cheek. It is not compulsory to incorporate rubbing or circular motions on your heart but some people report feeling even better doing so.
It is ok to enjoy the feeling as long as you want or to do the technique a few times a day. It is important to use affirmations and/or the Hands on Heart Technique as part of your daily routine so that you will not forget when you need them.
One may not always receive comfort from others but comfort can also come from self compassion through supportive touch.
The steps are as follows:
1. During stressful situations, take three deep breaths first
2. Place two hands on your heart. Feel the warmth and delicate pressure.
3. Feel the rise and fall of your chest as you breathe in and out.
4. You may move your hand in a rubbing or circular motion if it makes you feel better.
5. Keep the feeling as long as you want. Repeat as required throughout the day.
Pendulation
Seeking a balance between emotional comfort and discomfort can be helpful after first trying out positive affirmations and physical self-comfort. Pendulation simply refers to moving back and forth between two areas or states. In this technique, we are interested in developing an awareness that emotions are transient and move between comfortable and uncomfortable states. We are acknowledging and noticing how our feelings change in a non-judgmental way and doing so in a gentle and gradual manner which promotes healing and avoids overwhelming pain or anxiety. Follow the steps below.
Step 1: Identifying the area of distress
Locate the area in your body where your distress or emotional pain is. Focus on the experience and if it gets overwhelming, move on to the edges of the sensation where the intensity is lesser.
Step 2: Locating a body area which feels totally different
This area should be different from Step 1 and allows you to feel relatively calmer and grounded. Dwell on this experience for some time and inmerse yourself with the pleasant sensations you may encounter.
Step 3: Create a mental imagery for pendulation
Close your eyes and form a mental image of these 2 areas. They could be circles with different colours. Put your hand on the 'pain' area, dwell on it for a few moments before slowly moving your hand to the 'calm' area. Follow back and forth until you feel better.
Step 4: Titration while pendulating
Always start off slow and work with small 'amounts' of pain which you can handle then work up to greater 'amounts' as you slowly find balance between 'comfort' and 'discomfort'. Titration means taking things slowly to prevent one from being overwhelmed.
Step 5: Expand resourced states
The 'calm' area is an example of a resourced state. You can create more states for pendulation by incorporating body sensations such as the grounded feeling of your feet on the floor or happy feelings associated with pleasant memories. More resources allow you to cope flexibly.
Closure at Any Level
One reason why our emotions keep coming up is because we are triggered by a lack of closure. There is no finality to a situation which affected us deeply. Seeking closure doesn't mean we get the answers we want. It just means we focus on overcoming the feelings of anger, sadness, confusion, guilt, and hurt that have been holding us back from moving forward. Closure is a starting point.
Closure may not always be possible when the experience is highly traumatic or if the other person is no longer around. The key to healing and progress is closure for yourself and at any level:
1) Accept the situation as it is: It is often not possible to reverse a situation because the impact is permanent or people have moved on. We may even have flashbacks or intrusive thoughts because the outcome is unacceptable to us and we subconsciously wished to go back and change it. Acceptance frees us from being trapped in a time loop. We make the conscious effort to compartmentalise the past as separate from our present and future. This is an achievable and rational approach which most people can do. Take your time to accept a situation on your own terms, no one is rushing you.
2) Forgive yourself for being hurt, sad or anger: Closure is almost always for yourself rather than for other prople. Even if you are the one being hurt and you feel that the person hurting you should be seeking your forgiveness, understand that the process of forgiveness still starts with yourself. When you forgive yourself, you are less likely to internalise these negative emotions. We sometimes hurt others even though it is not our intention. How do we deal with the guilt without engaging your ego defensive mechanisms? You don't punish yourself or attribute blame to others, neither of which are healthy. You forgive yourself so you don't become a version of yourself that you cannot reconcile with. Closure here means reconciling with who you wish to be.
3) Write a letter to the person you need closure from, even if you wouldn't send it: You may feel strong emotions when asked to confront the person causing you emotional pain. Writing your thoughts down helps you to rationalise and make sense of what is causing your pain. If you can send a letter or meet the person, do so because it can be a form of cathartic release. If you can't, reading the letter yourself can make you feel better too. The aim is not to write a letter of abuse to vent your frustration or anger but a letter focused on kindness and empathy, for example, understanding why your ex chose to leave or why things happened unexpectedly despite everyone's best intentions. The letter can be seen as a farewell letter to the person who suffered and written as the person who is reviewing the situation retrospectively and comforting oneself with the kindest of intentions.
4) Imptly, take your time to process your emotions rather than suppressing them: The emotions we feel only get stronger the more we suppress them ('The Rebound Effect'). As you may have learnt from the other techniques shown above, it takes practice and time to manage our emotions with grace. However, it is also not as hard as you imagine it to be. Be patient with yourself as you process your emotions and understand that closure isn't a magic cure for everything. The key is processing emotions in line with achieving whatever level of closure is possible in your situation.
In most cases, partial closure is better than no closure or obsession with complete closure. Most closures ain't possible due to a multitude of reasons beyond our control. Time can be the best healer when you are able to see closure as a self-process independent of how others respond. Letting go and relinquishing our need to control over how negativity affects our lives are often understated factors that help in closure. The more we focus on our internal locus of control, the lesser things seem unpredictable and out of control. It is ok to cry and release your emotions if you have a moment of weakness.
‘We are only human and that's why we have scars. ’
The Safe U 3-Step Acupressure Emotional First Aid for Psychache ©
What is it?
While distress tolerance skills can take time to learn and are usually reserved only for emotional crises, it is important to acquire emotional regulatory skills which can be used in everyday situations and crisis episodes. The Safe U 3-step Acupressure Emotional First aid for Psychache © is based on the principles of Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM). It can be used as a form of self-help or administered to someone who needs emotional assistance. While it does not replace psychological interventions such as distress tolerance skills, it is meant to be complementary and has a low threshold for usage to facilitate easy adoption.
Step 1: Yintang (印堂）
Our acupressure first aid focuses on the mind, chest and gut. The first acupoint is the Yintang (印堂) or the Hall of Impression which is located between the brows. Gently massaging the Yintang with your thumb can relax the sympathetic nervous system or 'fight or flight response'. You will feel a sense of calmness, relief of headache and sleepiness after 2-3 minutes of repetition. Repeat as required. Yintang is thus also commonly known as a point of mental clarity and often culturally associated with higher consciousness.
Step 2: Danzhong (膻中)
The second acupoint is the Danzhong (膻中) which is located at the midpoint between the two nipples. Use the palm of your hand to apply firm pressure and rub downwards towards the belly button. Repeat for 20 times or until you feel better. You should experience decreased chest palpitations and alleviation of chest discomfort. Chest discomfort is suggestive of emotional imbalance and stimulating the Danzhong facilitates the restoration of balance through release of unhealthy emotions. It is thus also given the name of 'happy acupoint'. Spiritually, it promotes self love and awareness of self-harm.
Step 3: Neiguan (内关）
The third acupoint is the Neiguan (内关) which is located three fingers below the midpoint of the wrist crease between the two tendons. Use your thumb to press down firmly on the Neiguan and rotate in circles for 2-3 minutes. Repeat as required. It relieves anxiety-related gut discomfort such as nausea and vomiting. Neiguan or Inner Gate regulates connection between the heart and the external world. Together with Danzhong, it steadies the heart and relieves symptoms of anxiety, depression and irritability. Neiguan is also especially useful for treating people with PTSD by modulating specific brain regions involved in trauma processing.
How to perform acupressure accurately
Position yourself comfortably, relax your muscles and take a few deep breaths. Start from the Yintang, followed by the Danzhong and then the Neiguan. It is necessary to press firmly regardless if you are using your thumb or rubbing. Do not press so hard until it causes pain and discomfort. There will be tenderness and aching but it should not be painful. Stop immediately if you experience pain.
Be careful not to remove your thumb (or the palm of your hand) from the skin while massaging the point. Focus on massaging. It may help to close your eyes and take deep breaths while focusing.
Precautions
If you have any open wounds, inflamed and swollen areas, bruises or varicose veins, it is fine to omit that specific acupoint and proceed with the other points.
If you have an ongoing mental health condition, it is essential to keep taking your pills as acupressure is meant to be a complementary treatment. It is also recommended that you learn distress tolerance skills which could help you through a crisis episode.
In any case, it is always helpful to have friends and family members around during episodes of distress. They can listen to your troubles and practise different emotional first aid and distress tolerance skills together with you. The more you practise, the easier it is for you handle these situations with finesse and composure.
Why is our 3-Step Acupressure Emotional First Aid useful?
The Safe U 3-step Acupressure Emotional First aid for Psychache © functions as an emergency 'band-aid' when you experience moments of mental tension and works even better when used with distress tolerance skills during emotional crises. Importantly, it works even if you have distress intolerant beliefs such as 'I can't cope with this' and 'This feeling will never go away'. These beliefs can lead to escape behaviours such as self-harm. Interestingly, the Danzhong acupoint promotes self-care and awareness of self-harm, thereby averting the use of self-injurious behaviour as a maladaptive coping behaviour.
One of the effective methods used in distress tolerance skills involve tipping a person's face into cold water and holding one's breath briefly. The rationale is that this will trigger the mammalian diving reflex which causes the heart rate to decrease and the parasympathetic nervous system activated to induce relaxation. However, this method can be very initimdating and has a short-lived effect which needs to be followed up by distraction or problem-solving techniques. Additionally, this skill is unsuitable for individuals with a heart condition. The Danzhong and Neiguan acupoints can work together to calm the heart while Yintang can promote mental clarity and calmness. The latter helps with problem-solving and also reduces the need for distraction which when used too frequently, can inhibit our capacity to understand and grow from our feelings.
‘你的痛苦，不会是你的全部，你不用只是快乐，不用只是难过。’
‘Your pain does not define you. You don't have to be only happy, you don't have to be only sad.’
How do you deal with ‘rebound’ effects?
Try the DEF and Standardised Finger-Grip Methods
- Deliteralisation
- Emotional integrity
- Focused distraction
- Standardised Finger-Grip Method: Alleviates sadness, fear, anger, worry and nervousness while promoting calmness.
😟 * 😧 * 😠 * 🥺 * 😰 => 🧘🏻
Deliteralisation
When we try to address our negative thoughts and emotions, the distressing symptoms we experience may seem to get worse at times before it eventually gets better. This is where other techniques can come in handy to ameliorate the situation. Deliteralisation refers to the process of reducing the literal quality of thoughts so that a person is seeing thoughts as just thoughts, and not the absolute truth and reality. There are a number of ways deliteralisation can be achieved but we will focus on 3 simple exercises here.
1) Milk, milk, milk exercise
This is a word repetition exercise which was first used by British Psychologist Edward Titchener in 1916 to remove the emotional discomfort and believability of certain words or thoughts that cause that discomfort. We often believe and give personal meaning to our words and thoughts, thus detaching from their symbolic meaning or ‘content’ can provide relief.
Start by thinking of all the characteristics you can conjure when you think about milk such as white, creamy, frothy etc etc. Then verbalise the word ‘milk' for 1 minute. At the end of that exercise, you may realise that you have lost all the associations with ‘milk' and the word has become a meaningless series of sounds.
Next, bring up the thought that is causing you discomfort, rate it from 0-10 with 0 being no discomfort and 10 being the worst discomfort you experienced. Give the thought a word to represent it. Characterise it in your mind before verbalising it for 1 minute. If the content is still there, repeat again for another 1 minute. By now, the rating of discomfort will have gone down compared to the beginning of the exercise. Repeat as and when required.
2) ‘Im having the thought...' exercise
This is an exercise that focuses on distancing onself from negative thoughts and feelings and is particularly useful when you are overwhelmed by a distressing thought. First start by bringing the thought to mind and repeat it loudly a few times. For example, ‘I am useless’ for 3 times. Secondly, add the phrase ‘I'm having the thought' such that it become ‘I'm having the thought that I am useless' and repeat it for another 5 times. Thirdly, repeat the phrase ‘I notice that I'm having the thought that I am useless' for 7 times. As you work on the exercise, you will realise that you are steadily distancing yourself from your thoughts and you are not ‘fused' to the discomfort that the thoughts are causing. You will also start to see things more positively with practice.
3) The pop-up mind technique
For this technique, close your eyes and imagine your negative or unwanted thoughts as an internet pop-up ad. You have the option to disengage and close the ad. Thinking is seen as an automatic process which delivers information to your awareness but you do not have to engage with the content of the thought. Simulate the process of closing the ad with a mouse click. Open your eyes and move your attention to something else in the room or to something that you needed to do before the thought distracted you. The purpose of the technique is to show that you have control over your thoughts as you can disengage as you and when required. Always remember that you are not your thoughts.
We are always observing our thoughts rather than being entangled by them
Emotional integrity
When we try to regulate our emotions, one of the main challenges is maintaining a state of inner balance regardless of the situation and whoever we meet. Emotional integrity can be defined simply as a state of emotional completeness or maintaining an authentic self. This requires acknowledging one's feelings, wants and desires without judgement and the need for societal validation. These attributes may seem difficult given that we don't exist alone but it is mostly a matter of perception.
We don't matter as much to others as we believe it to be.
We are only responsible for ourselves and nothing more. Consider these points to maintain your own emotional integrity:
1) Emotions are our full responsibility. Whether you feel sad, angry or jealous is a product of your response to a situation which will not change for you or anyone for that matter. Is it wrong to experience these negative emotions then? No, it is natural to have them. It is only a problem when we hold on to them too long. The key is to observe them and let them float away. If you don't have a bottle of bubble water, just imagine yourself blowing bubbles and the discomfort floating away, bursting and disappearing. This is also a philosophy: Impermanence is a fact of life. Nothing, even emotional suffering, lasts forever.
2. Maintaining honesty with yourself. If you constantly find yourself in situations which bring you emotional discomfort or pain, the environment probably played a major part in perpetuating your negative emotions. Escaping from such an environmeny may not always be possible but this is always something you can do to protect your emotional integrity. A powerful tool is saying ‘no' to harmful situations instead of compromising your own values and beliefs. Suffering on your own just makes things intolerable. It is not as hard as it seems to reject anything or anyone who infringes on your emotional integrity. Often, the effect of saying ‘no' can be so catharthic that your distress subsides drastically.
Similarly, expressive suppression should be avoided. It is defined as the deliberate hiding and inhibition of ongoing emotion-expressive behaviour. Since it works late after a emotional response has been elicited, there is a greater requirement on one's cognitive resources to effortfully manage negative emotions as they occur repeatedly.
The constant need to maintain a ‘facade’ creates a widening gap between one's inner experience and outer expression, thus compromising emotional integrity. When we feel inauthentic, we are less able to build meaningful relationships which can help provide a valuable source of social support. With prolonged expressive suppression, we might even feel a disconnect or dissociation from ourselves and the world around us.
If you need to express your emotions privately, excuse yourself for a few minutes and go to a place you feel comfortable to compose yourself. If you are unable to excuse yourself, you can try the fist clenching technique. Clench your left fist while taking slow deep breaths helps to calm your mind and reduce anxiety. Clench your right fist and breathe in the same manner as above to boost feelings of happiness and confidence. Release your fist as you feel better or continue as long as you need.
3) Self-compassion and empathy for others. When we experience negative thoughts and feelings, it is not uncommon to feel guilty for having a dark side. However, most people often oscillate between light and darkness. That you are even thinking that you have a dark side already shows that you have more light in you than darkness. When bad things happen to us, these events are usually out of our control and unpreventable. It is not our fault and therefore self-compassion helps us to put our thoughts and feelings into perspective.
Self-compassion facilitates empathy for others, even for those who hurt us badly. Yes, you may not be able to forgive them fully but empathy lessens the pain with time. Importantly, maintaining a good self identity and better relationships help with our emotional integrity and mental wellness. Forgiveness, for example, is one of the most effective ways to lessen the burden of emotional pain. This is because forgiveness is deeper than acceptance on an emotional level since it requires being vulnerable but still practising magnanimity and extending kindness to others. However, please know that you are not condoning the hurtful act(s). Instead, you are not letting bitterness become a part of your emotional structure and this allows you to move forward and become the person you want to be. This is the greatest gift you can give yourself.
“Honesty is grounded in humility and indeed in humiliation, and in admitting exactly where we are powerless.”
Focused distraction
Distraction refers to the process of diverting one's attention from the affective aspects of a situation. It belongs to a group of antecedent-focused strategies which occur before the initiation of an emotional response as opposed to response-focused strategies which occur after the emotional response. Antecedent-focused strategies have so far been found to be effective in emotional regulation than response-focused strategies. Importantly, distraction regulates low- and high-intensity negative emotions more effectively and at an earlier regulatory phase compared to other methods.
How does focused distraction help?
1) The key is in the word ‘focused’. It requires focus on a specific and usually meaningful activity to divert one's attention from the distressing stimulus. This is different from letting our mind wander aimlessly and shutting down our emotions as a form of avoidance mechanism. Avoidance is unhealthy in the long-term since we never learnt to cope with our emotions. Examples of ‘focused’ activities include reading a book, listening to music or engaging in physicial exercise and sports. It is not advisable to scroll on social media as a distraction as there may be unregulated content which may further exacerbate your negative emotions.
2) Creating breathing and thinking space by allowing you to move away from distressing stimuli temporarily and adjust yourself emotionally so that you won't get overwhelmed. Once the emotional intensity goes down, you are in a better state to think and appraise the situation which evoked your emotions. Additionally, we stop the chain of negative thoughts which tend to emerge together with the feelings. When our feelings and thoughts get congested, we usually do not react well to the situation. We engage in behaviour or actions which may further worsen our emotions, for example, drinking alcohol or saying things we will regret later.
3) Temporary and judicious use. Focused distractions can be highly effective in acute situations which is why they are suitable for maintenance and rebound prevention. However, it is still a temporary solution and offers more of a strategic tool. We may have important responsibilities which need to be carried out immediately so engaging in distraction can be counterproductive. One way you can use focused distractions judiciously is to reserve them for high-intensity emotional regulation while another antecedent-focused strategy such as cognitive reappraisal can be used for low-intensity emotional regulation.
Cognitive reappraisal relates to the re-intepretation of an emotionally stimulating event so that our response is altered. For example, a relationship breakup can elicit feelings of sadness and anger which can sometimes be very distressing. We can re-interpret the relationship breakup as an opportunity to assess whether there had been incompatibility issues from the start. It is often painful to lose someone but not so much when we realise it is not anyone's fault but the dynamics of the relationship itself.
By using different antecedent-focused strateges in combination with focused distraction, we are more likely to achieve increasingly higher levels of emotional regulation. It is important to keep practising different regulatory skills on a daily basis so that your mind and body can get used to the effects. It will eventually become more like a reflex which automatically comes out whenever your emotions flucutate.
“All profound distraction opens certain doors. You have to allow yourself to be distracted when you are unable to concentrate."
- Julio Cortázar
The Standardised Finger-Grip Method
😟 * 😧 * 😠 * 🥺 * 😰 => 🧘🏻
What is it?
A common stress relief and healing technique which is used to remove blockage in ‘energy flow’ in the body caused by intensified negative emotions. It has strong cultural roots to Indonesia and Japan and is commonly used as a low-cost mental health tool when access to psychological help is difficult. There are a few variations of the method and we have unified them into a general approach. We are not concerned with the arguments for and against energy healing. Instead, we focus here on the subjective experiences of the individual and self-rated changes in emotional intensity
Step 1: Grasp your fingers
One finger at a time, starting from the thumb to the little finger. Take your time and ensure that you form a firm grasp. Finger grasps work particularly well for young children and teens to provide a sense of control during times of uncertainty.
Step 2: Hold on for 2 minutes
Hold on firmly with a light pressure until you feel a pulsation in your finger. Keep holding for 2 minutes or if you are in a rush, at least a minimum of 1 minute. The pulsation is an indication that the ‘energy’ is flowing again and negative emotions are being released. The finger-grip method also functions as a form of acupressure, so the alleviation of symptoms could be interpreted as good ‘energy’ flow rather than an actual observable phenomenon
The release of negative emotions does not mean that there is total elimination but rather, a balance is achieved between positive and negative emotional states. This is consistent with the Eastern medical philosophy of Yin-Yang.
Continued . . .
Step 3: Power of your palm
Think of your palm as a master reset button which you press after restoring balance to your emotions. By putting your thumb in the palm of your hand and pressing lightly, you go back to a state of calmness. Does it matter which hand you use when you hold your fingers and press your palm? No, it doesn't matter but we can make a suggestion that you allow your left hand to be manipulated as it links directly to your heart.
Step 4: Mix and match
If you don't have time to complete the exercise with all your fingers, simply choose the finger that represents the emotion you are experiencing right now. However, we do recommend that you trying out the method in full to achieve the full benefits. Another reason for doing the full method is that the fingers representing worry and sadness are swapped in the Indonesian and Japanese versions of this method. By doing all, you don't have to remember which is which and you also target mixed emotions more efficiently. If you are confused, just grasp the thumb and ring fingers when you are worried and/or sad.
Step 5: Breathe deeply
The finger-grip method is not typically complete without incorporating deep breathing exercises. Why is deep breathing so important? Well, it activates the parasympathetic system which lowers your blood pressure and heart rate. It can also alleviate depression, anxiety and stress symptoms. By adding the finger-grip to deep breathing, you set the intention of releasing the emotion(s) you have identified.
‘Emotion can be the enemy, if you give into your emotion, you lose yourself. You must be at one with your emotions, because the body always follows the mind.’
- Bruce Lee
Our General Approach To Service Care
Develop awareness of your suicidal state. Voice out immediately and seek help early. Comply with all safety measures and commit fully to care. Keep in mind to help us so that we can help you. Together, we can break the cycle of suicidal behaviour.
We believe that keeping you safe is of paramount importance. This is why we are absolutely honest and transparent with what we share here so you don't have to second guess our intentions and standard operating procedures. We keep in place stringent rules for both volunteers and people who seek help. These rules are not meant to discourage you from help-seeking but to encourage you to take ownership of your own life. We enforce self-responsibility because if you are unable to exercise control over your actions, your safety is out of our hands. We will support you the best we can but this is not the same as giving your life to us to manage.
You are fully responsible for what you do at all times even if you are mentally ill or experiencing personal distress. These include any form of harm you might inflict on yourself and others.
To maximise safety and minimise harm, it is crucial for us to ask for your full name, contact number, address and contact details of at least one safety contact, who can be a trusted family member or friend.
Compliance is mandatory to access the services we offer here.
This information is strictly private and used in emergency situations only. Your details will be deleted immediately once you are no longer in the service.
We adopt a collaborative approach which involves discussion and mutually agreeing upon a safety plan for you (i.e, for those involved in the intervention programme). This is meant to build a supportive alliance and increase compliance. We ask that you commit to the plan as it could make the difference between life and death in a crisis episode when you are unable to think clearly. A collaborative approach also requires trust and honesty. We trust you to seek help when you are in danger and maintain honesty with details such as mental health conditions, contact details and safety contacts. On our part, we will never give up on you as long as you are determined to journey with us.
Do not be afraid if you experience episodes of distress or suicidal crises. It is normal for one's psychological condition to fluctuate according to different situational factors. You won't necessarily be apprehended by the police if you disclose your current situation to our volunteers. The earlier you disclose when you feel out of sorts, the easier it is for us to intervene and bring you to safety. It is possible to tell the difference between someone threatening suicide to achieve emotional manipulation and another person feeling suicidal because of genuine emotional reasons. Thus, you don't have to be scared that we will reject you if you are really in need of help. With adversity comes opportunities for growth, so let us work together to help you pick up the pieces and rebuild a better life.
Safety and confidentiality are equally important. Due to the nature of our work, we may collect data which is used to monitor your recovery and to keep you safe. We understand the importance of confidentiality because it creates a trusting relationship which is conducive to helping you recover. We do not disclose your information unless you are at imminent risk of harm to self and others. To ensure safety and confidentiality are maintained, always be compliant and commit to the programme fully. This reduces the risk of your behaviour worsening and requiring external intervention.
Taking care of people with mental health and suicidal issues can be physically and mentally challenging. We kindly ask that you treat everyone you meet with decency and kindness so that they do not feel emotionally drained. If you feel that someone has done well, let us know so we can compliment our volunteer. If someone is engaging in inappropriate behaviour, let us know too so we can take swift disciplinary action. We care for you better when you keep a lookout for us. This is how we can improve our initiative and help as best as we can.
Principles of Engagement
Your well-being is contingent on how well we are allowed to understand you and how much you cherish and remain responsible for yourself.
Disclaimer: Release of liability
By engaging our services, you hereby indemnify and agree to keep The SAFE U Initiative, its management team, volunteers and partnering organisations fully indemnified against all claims, loss or damage whatsoever in respect of death, injury, disability or any loss or damage whatsoever arising from any cause in connection with any programmes conducted by the initiative or participation therein.
We ask that you follow these principles at all times:
1. Honesty & Transparency: We expect clients and volunteers to be upfront about their mental health status and motives to create a safe space for all.
2. Reciprocity: We treat you with kindness and all we ask is that you do not abuse or traumatise our volunteers.
3. Cherish yourself: If you do not cherish the chance to be supported in the community, there are very few options besides involuntary admission. Please consider carefully the consequences of posing a risk to yourself and others and reflect upon the importance of compliance to keep your autonomy intact.
4. Commitment: If you have the intention of shopping around for different mental health programmes, we urge you to avoid approaching us. Community support is an arduous and intensive process which requires an individual to be fully committed instead of disengaging as and when you like. When you do so, you are wasting our self-funded resources and volunteers. Similarly, your wilful act will deny someone else the opportunity to seek help. This is against the value of kindness which we are trying to promote through our initiative.
5. Safety as first priority: We are focused on keeping our clients and volunteers safe throughout their journey with us. If you are planning or attempting suicide, please know that you will likely be apprehended by the police and conveyed to IMH for assessment. We do not wish to see that happen because this can be a traumatising experience for you and the volunteer taking care of you. We would rather you communicate with us way before you advance to the later stages of suicide.
Most people are legitimately suffering from unbearable emotional pain and therefore have suicidal tendencies. This is understandable and we are here to support. In rare cases, however, we have seen people threatening suicide every now and then to emotionally exploit our volunteers. We urge you to avoid doing so because crying wolf can be dangerous. When you really need help, no one will ever listen to your cries of help again. It will not be pleasant when the police is required to intervene. You will also not enjoy your experience at IMH.
6. Know your threshold of unacceptable loss and voice out before police intervention is inevitable: This threshold relates to a person's tolerance limit for negative life event(s), which when violated exacerbates the risk of suicide.
This is set only by the person contemplating suicide and may precipitate action in a suicide ready individual. We do not know unless you voice out and let us know how and when to help. This is part of your responsibility to keep safe. If you allow the threshold to be exceeded, you leave us with no other options to intervene. This is not desirable in helping you recover within the community. Institutionalisation becomes your only option.
Why are we insisting on these principles?
These principles of engagment were introduced because individuals who seek help are ultimately responsible for their own well-being.
Initially, our initiative had an open door policy to anyone in need because we wanted to encourage help-seeking behaviour. However, we have been misused and abused on multiple occasions. If you exploit us for selfish reasons, you may inadvertently become the person who caused you pain in the first place. Please treat us the way you wish to be treated and you will be surprised to see a noticeable improvement in your own mental well-being as a result of increased trust in the supportive alliance.
Importantly, we do not encourage a victim narrative as it can undermine efforts to empower individuals to make meaningful changes to their lives. Some individuals may attribute negative life events to themselves and believe that change is impossible. With time, they can end up giving up on trying to make things better and use passive coping skills in a maladaptive state known as learned helplessness. This state results in a pervasive sense of hopelessness which is common in suicidality.
Thus, we wish to achieve a balance between providing help and empowering people to proactively seek help in a responsible manner. This balance does not equate to being selective or discriminative. It is simply necessary to make changes to modify our culture of help for the better.
How do you begin? It is as easy as following our principles of engagement, nothing more nothing less.
Services
Suicide & Mental Health Support Services
Read the Features first to get a brief idea.
Read the Summaries next to find out more.
We currently have two programmes and two workshops: Our programmes include a virtual buddy programme for people with simple mental health issues and an intervention programme for suicidal individuals. Please note that for these services to be effective, individuals are required to be transparent about their mental health status and maintain full commitment to our programme. We do our very best to help within our means but any failure to disclose or comply will compromise the safe space we are creating for all. In these situations, we have no choice but to refer you to another mental health organisation.
On 22 May 2024, we introduced our Safe U Single-Session Transdiagnostic Workshop for Emotional Regulation (Safe U SST EMO ©). This is a 2 hour experiential workshop focused on learning about the importance of emotions and the skills required to manage one's emotions. This workshop is not only for individuals with mental health conditions as even general members of the public can benefit from it. We combined the advantages of single-session interventions and transdiagnostic care to provide an evidence based and effective form of mental health care. This is also the first of its kind in Singapore.
Following which, we also introduced the Safe U Suicide & Mental Distress Gatekeeper (SMDG) Workshop © on 30 June 2024. This is small group workshop focused on cultivating gatekeeping skills through role-playing and familiarisation with the processes to keep a suicidal and/or distressed individual safe. Unlike other gatekeeper workshops, we keep our participant numbers extremely low to facilitate better guidance and allow individuals to learn comfortably without judgement. We also focus on both mental distress and suicide instead of suicide only. This means that you are able to utilise your skills in a broader context and help more people in need.
Regardless of our activities, we always try to maintain our pro bono status and any fees collected are only for external costs and maintenance of our programmes.
Features of The SAFE U Buddy (SUB) Programme and its expanded version (E-SUB)
- The SUB programme is our popular virtual buddy programme where we match a volunteer to a person in need. Please only join if you are mentally prepared to work with people with varied mental health issues.
- The main aim is to facilitate natural interaction between members of the public and individuals with simple mental health isssues and/or uncomplicated mental disorders (i.e., well managed & stable). Guidance by our team is always available on demand and we encourage you to use it to help you learn.
- Volunteers only need to listen. Just think about how you talk to a friend or family member, it is meant to be effortless and not contrived due to any specific training. However, unsolicited advice is discouraged as it may impede sharing due to fear of judgement. If you are proficient in active listening, this is a great skill but not a requirement to volunteer. Our intention is to make volunteering accessible to more people to increase the reach of support networks in the community.
- Since it is meant for laypersons to volunteer, every person in need is required to be in a stable mental health condition (i.e., in recovery or medically well-controlled). This is to prevent traumatisation of our layperson volunteers.
- Please note that this programme is not a substitute for professional mental health services as volunteers are only meant to offer a listening ear and are not trained to provide counseling or therapy (refer to summary for list of unsuitable mental health conditions)
By providing opportunities for interaction, we hope to increase a volunteer's capacity to interact with individuals with mental health difficulties and develop a sense of responsibility to seek assistance when needed. That is why our team is available most of the time to provide guidance and advice.
- It is crucial for a volunteer to be proactive when it comes to learning and seek help before you reach your limitations. No training will help you adapt to the ever changing situations you will be facing.
We don't want a panicky rehearsed response. We want a measured, guided and genuine response which appeals to one's heart.
- A telegram account is needed for both buddies to provide a safe and confidential chatting environment for all.
- It is also mandatory to provide your full name, contact number and address. The details of at least one close contact (name and phone number) are also required. This will be kept strictly confidential at all times except when there is imminent risk of harm to self and others.
- The E-SUB is an expansion announced on April 3 2024 to facilitate a three prong approach to mental health promotion and suicide prevention
- While the SUB programme provides an emotional support point, the second prong includes augmenting the existing support network by providing advisory services to the family and friends of a suspected mentally ill or suicidal person to allow early detection and referral. The third prong, also known as vent buddies, focuses on healthy communication of suicidal feelings and thoughts to prevent pent up emotional pain and suffering. The format will be a supervised group setting but whether the mode is in-person or online depends on demand. Please register your interest through any of our contact channels.
Features of The SAFE U Suicide Intervention Programme (SAFE UP ©)
- This is our signature face-to-face suicide intervention programme.
- Individuals need to be screened before they proceed to the intervention stage. This is to ensure suitability of the intervention and also to minimise risk of harm to self and others during the session.
- Our volunteers for this programme are counseling or psychology trained but receive additional advanced suicide intervention training as well as supervision at all times.
- Our protocol is validated up to moderate high suicide risk but we are not a substitute for professional psychiatric treatment, particularly if suicide is related to severe mental illness.
- Community intervention of suicidal behaviours requires a high level of compliance with the programme and active involvement of family and friends to provide a safety network for the individual. Please consider if you are willing to cooperate fully and work closely with us through your journey before applying.
- Individuals with psychotic disorders or Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) sometimes need more support than usual. They should be receiving psychiatric treatment (for psychosis) or psychotherapy (for BPD) and reacting well before we can help with their suicidal behaviour.
Features of the Safe U Single-Session Transdiagnostic Workshop for Emotional Regulation (SST EMO ©)
- Single session: We created the workshop to provide you with what you need within a 2 hour session. You are not expected to attend numerous sessions just to acquire the knowledge needed to improve your life. This creates a sense of purpose for both participants and instructors to make the best of their time together. It is also cost effective and reduces waiting time to access mental health services.
-Transdiagnostic care: Many mental health conditions and even simple daily mental health isssues have features in common. For example, it is normal for a person with depression to experience anxiety and vice versa. All individuals also suffer from distress or episodes of stress regardless of their mental health status. By focusing on common features instead of labeling individuals with a specific diagnosis, it is possible to improve inclusivity and provide a better level of mental health care.
Features of the Safe U Suicide & Mental Distress Gatekeeper (SMDG) Workshop ©
- Training gatekeepers to avert deaths or serious harm arising from suicidal behaviour and mental distress
- No prerequisites required as it is a beginner workshop
- Focus is on identifying warning signs, developing active listening skills and knowing when and how to refer
- Small group so you receive better guidance and learn in comfort without fear of judgement
- We do not just focus on suicide but also mental distress so that your skills are applicable to a broad range of situations
- We are advocates of learning by doing so you will get the chance to practise in a safe environment with full guidance from our facilitators. We encourage you to ask questions as you practise so that you clear your doubts immediately.
The SAFE U Buddy (SUB) Programme
Summary:
Following the government's recent change to give the police more powers to apprehend those with mental disorders, we feel the need to do more to help individuals with mental health issues receive support in a dignified manner.
The SAFE U Buddy Programmes matches a layperson volunteer to a person in need with the aims of providing a listening ear and encouraging help-seeking behaviour. Should a person in distress be alone and require immediate psychiatric intervention, the buddy performs the crucial role of accompanying the person to IMH emergency under the guidance of our initiative. This action provides immediate life-saving support and reduces the need for police intervention.
If you are a person with mental disorder and suffer from episodes of distress, we are able to help so long as you are in a stable mental health condition and agree to our mandatory requirements. Please feel free to contact us and we will match you accordingly.
If you are the family or friend of a loved one who experiences mental health issues, you can access our E-SUB service and advice will be provided to you on how to identify warning signs and seek help early.
The E-SUB service also promotes healthy communication of suicidal feelings and thoughts through a facilitated group setting. This is available on demand.
The following conditions are unsuitable and are instead addressed in our SAFE UP intervention programme:
1. Current and/or Previous Suicidal Planning
2. Current and/or Previous Suicidal Attempts
3. Presence of Suicidal Desire & Capability
4. Warning signs of Suicide e.g. dramatic mood swings or uncontrollable distress episodes, social withdrawal, impulsivity, feelings of being trapped/unbearable pain or talking about killing oneself
5. Borderline Personality Disorder
6. Psychotic Disorders
The SAFE U Suicide Intervention Programme (SAFE UP ©)
Summary:
This is the 1st Safe Space intervention in Singapore and also the only comprehensive suicide intervention programme locally which encompasses the full spectrum of suicide risk assessment, crisis intervention, suicide risk prediction, monitoring and recovery.
Individuals who are interested in the service will be screened for eligibility. This is followed by a brief risk assessment and the actual crisis intervention which lasts about 1-2 hours. Once a person is deemed safe, we will monitor according to our algorithm. The longest period of monitoring is up to 6 months. During monitoring, individuals may also participate in activities and/or workshops which the initiative or our partners conduct. These activities and workshops are aimed at promoting recovery and social reintegration within the community. Monitoring takes a collaborative effort built on mutual trust and compliance. We cannot emphasise enough the need to self-monitor and seek help proactively at the earliest opportunity. We also need assistance from trusted family members and friends to keep you safe in times of emergency, therefore the contact details of you and that of a safety contact are mandatory to support you in the community. It is also meant to promote accountability and prevent deliberate misuse of our system such as abuse of volunteers and wilful disengagement from help.
Individuals who make a good recovery also have the option of joining our volunteers and helping others who are struggling with suicide. This provides a meaningful experience which completes their transformation.
The Safe U Single-Session Transdiagnostic Workshop for Emotional Regulation ©
(Safe U SST EMO ©)
22 July 2024 - Completed
29 July 2024 - Completed
Next Session - TBA. Please contact us if you are interested to attend.
Summary:
The workshop is suitable for everyone regardless of mental health status since emotional regulation is something we all need to improve our lives. The workshop is 2 hours and divided into 3 components: Lecture, Facilitated Small Group Discussion and Experiential Activities.
The lecture provides participants with an understanding on why emotions are important to our daily living and how we can manage them according to the situations we face. Important skills are introduced and further discussed during the small group break out sessions. The sharing of experiences between participants often reduces feelings of isolation and helplessness. Participants also get the chance to clarify what they have learnt in the lecture.
The experiential activities are usually the most enjoyable component of the workshop as individuals get to practise the skills they have learnt. The change one experiences is often very positive as some of these skills are effective almost immediately. Individuals also gain a level of control that they had never had. This kind of self-control enables them to remain calm and composed, make better decisions and even save them from making a impulsive decision to self-harm or suicide.
We don't believe in labeling people with specific disorders. We would rather see you as a person, no matter what you have been through. That is why we created this just for you and we don't make a profit out of it.
The Safe U Suicide & Mental Distress Gatekeeper (SMDG) Workshop ©
Summary:
18 August 2024 - Session open for registration!
The Safe U SMDG workshop © is aimed at training gatekeepers in the community. Gatekeepers are individuals who equipped with skills to help family, friends, peers or even neighbours who are going through a difficult time and experiencing suicidal behaviour and/or mental distress. Gatekeepers do not need to be mental health professionals. They simply need to show empathy, listen actively and refer as required.
While the requirements and skills are simple, becoming a competent gatekeeper requires introspection, courage and constant practice. We try to cultivate these skills by encouraging role-playing within a small group setting. You do not need to worry about how others will judge you since our workshop has very few participants per session compared to similar workshops. We are also the only organisation in Singapore which conducts gatekeeper training for both suicide and mental distress since we believe that they share common features.
The workshop is considered suitable for everyone. There are no prerequisites and this is considered the beginner workshop for our series of gatekeeping workshops which will be introduced subsequently.
What if you don't know anyone who is suicidal or in distress? Well, you never know when you would need these skills but the probability of you encountering such situations is actually not as low as you think. If you remembered seeing news reports of members of the public saving a distressed individual from jumping off a HDB flat or walking onto the MRT tracks, chances are you have already seen a gatekeeper in action.
We hope you can play a part in keeping your loved ones and the community safe. Your actions can avert a death and change someone's life for the better.
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